Distressing Spirits

Since the beginning of this week, which is going into the first days of December, I have felt a little distressed. There are no grievances in my marriage, no turmoils in my son, and school is going along just fine. I'm curious about this distress and maybe it is just because my health is under the weather, but it also could be unresolved sin. It could be a distress over my feelings of displacement by living here and by having a goal just out of reach slightly beyond my fingertips. I'm going to at least conclude I feel worse with a combination of the above.

So how do I deal with the evidence at hand? Well as for my cold I could make sure I'm resting and eating well, also getting plenty of fluids, and if need be take myself to a doctor. As for my displacement, I realize moving out of state is not going to happen anytime in the next five days so I might as well forget about dwelling on it. As for my goals being out of reach, I doubt I'll make serious progress until I'm closer to graduation, that is also not anytime soon. I might as well just keep to my studies and get the best grades I possibly can and keep my heart open to more revelation on the matter. As for unresolved sin, even though I may be unaware of the exact nature, I can always pray for an overhaul on my heart and to be convicted of what I don't realize and ask for forgiveness.

You see, I'm not upset about being distressed, it is simply a feeling. This feeling of course can get out of hand, but that's why I need to do just as I am now and check it. For all I know God could be trying to tell me something and I'm not listening without my heart being tugged on. I always like to at least end up pondering God's personality. I can't know exact details into His workings, but through scripture I can do my best to clarify the inspired words of God to understand a little bit better about Him. I can test what is contrary, and I can research with objectivity. The only time I find it best to put off the Word is when I feel I'm searching subjectively. I have to put my mind aside in a sense in order to fully comprehend without contradiction. I believe God's word is truth, so it would be counterintuitive to go scamming scripture looking for a verse to justify myself.

It becomes clearer every day that I have such a high responsibility to my son and to my family. My spiritual maturity and growth can make or break this family and I have got to tread carefully but diligently about Jesus Christ and my claims to having a personal relationship with Him and also living a life that won't contradict scripture. If I'm unsure about something, I need only to take the time to patiently pray and learn. More recently I've been inclined to research more about family values, scripture teachings on many different subjects that are pertinent in our society, and where I stand as an acclaimed Christian, disciple in Christ, on each of these matters. How do you love the sinner and hate the sin? And without ruffling a single feather, or is that even possible? I guess what has come over me in this distress is a sense of urgency to check my heart with God and adhere to His call on me to "love" as He commands so. Then with that, how to go about into the community and express that love while letting others know that sin is death and if they want to, they can choose life. First it takes a lot about understanding sin, which is something I'm still learning a lot about. It was the turning point in my transformation, and as much as I want that for others, they may simply just reject.

Life is interesting indeed. I feel a decline in my distress as I type, and I do give this all over to Jesus, He will be my guide, and my strength, and my comfort. Sometimes even God can distress me in order to grab my attention. As I said, there is nothing so wrought with dismay that I have any reason to be beside myself. But I do know that within a thinking process I can objectively review my heart and pray to the Almighty for a friend and willing hand to pull me back to the surface and get on with it.